Here I am!

Before operating, I filled her question to my friend Eugenia, who had lived her own experience of bypass in 2007. And now I'm here, even necessary to go over the road, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I am a spirit, I am proud and grateful to God for not leaving me in the darkness, not leaving to me when I was angry with life, not abandoned me, even when I had abandoned Him ... Here I am, Here I am!

Cruel exposure of myself

Never thought I'd expose myself as I do, but my goal is to show how I was before surgery and my present with hope, so if someone reads my blog and he or she sets an example for yourself , can modify behavior and decided to change to a healthy life. This photo was taken in January 2009, a couple of months before the bypass. My body had reached an untenable extreme, it could not continue, leaving life, leaving my being. One day before surgery, my psychologist ANA CARDEILHAC sent me one of the most beautiful messages that sums it all: She said "Vivi ... you get in close contact with your body. Use this weekend to make contact and to say goodbye of this body that you timely and lovingly served as an instrument of defense experience as aggressive situations, victims or not. Thank you received, what they learn and open your hands with love for things to come "

The decision was mine. And I'm proud of having surgery!!

Hormonal Problems

The strength of my body to lose weight is not a casual occasion. Since 2006 I suffer hormonal changes that affect my menses, menstruating either 180 days in a row (2006) or no bleeding at all (2008-09). In May, doctor foundme endometrial hyperplasia (a condition prior to uterine cancer). But I tested negative biopsy also starting to menstruate, I was not doing that, my health improved. But my menstruatión last Thursday was very strong. I was shocked! I think I never made a serious study of hormones (thyroid, estrogen, prolactin, etc.). I was never given an accurate diagnosis of why I lost my hair in this way. Me anger with traditional medicine is that observing the patient "in divided parts (thyroid one, the other utero obesity, other ...) It's exhausting! Now the bleeding has passed, but next month will the bleeding be like?

Excellent therapy session

Since March 2008 every week to attend my therapy with ANA CARDEILHAC. Yesterday was very special because we discussed the issue of food overflowing recounted in the previous entry. She explained that addictions in general, are directly associated "with the relationship with the mother." Although one senses or knows these things, experiences in therapy is different. The need for affection, approval, appreciation, love, etc.. "Emotional nutrients" that one to find (or not) in real breastfeeding (when is a baby) or emotional (over lifetime) are reflected behavior in our mouth. I could understand why I have these delusions, but I think my relationship with mom was good, was that there were things that kept me away from it. I realized that the empty spaces in my life, filled with food, and now that my stomach is small, I still have those moments of hunger, which are really emotional moments that appear empty, of course, because you never were. The goal of therapy is to unravel the complicated tangle of emotions that my weight loss.

Crisis with my body

When I was obese, did not want me "complete" because it was distressing that the image gave me back the mirror. With 34 kilos less, today, I feel too certain rejection by what I see. Sagging, loose skin. CELLULITE strong in the rear. I'm sorry to have come so far with my disregard for my body!!. There are things that have a "fix" but not others. At first I just wanted to feel back to health, was content to walk and return to your agility. But once I got this, I look at me as a woman and not so much what I like, just see me in my privacy, not others. That's why I started modeling sessions body to stop the "fall" of skin, sagging and why not, work on improving my appearance.
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When I watch backwards

When I watch backwards I feel that I obtained very enormously; and that not yet I arrived weight. That they lack kilos to lower. But when I see myself in this one photo taken in November of the 2008, I see a Viviana very very fat… but with hopes because an important change came. Still I feel that I am suspended, that the reduction of weight is slow, that my head asks to me TO EAT MUCH but in fact I cannot do it. That the candies are my perdición, but I CAN MOVE, I CAN RAISE a GROUP, OR PUBLIC TRANSPORT OR BUS OR TRUCK (as they say in Mexico) WITHOUT DIFFICULTY. I CAN " TO BATHE COMPLETA" to ME;! I CAN PUT THE AVERAGES OR SOCKS TO ME WITHOUT MAKING ACROBATICS, AND CUTTING THE NAILS TO ME OF THE FEET WITHOUT NEEDING POSITIONS YOGA… I CAN CROSS THE CLOTHES STORES AND FEEL THAT " NOW IF I CAN TRY AND UNTIL BUYING CLOTHES THAT I HAVE LEFT LINDO" … I can think that I am going to go to a celebration or meeting and I will feel is contiguous… My change of attitude, illuminates my days and I am thankful for God, and I feel pride of my by the taken desicions…

Returning to the diet

Today, Monday, restarted the diet he had left on Thursday. Again, the Diet Scardale should not extend more than 2 / 3 weeks. I had entered the 4th week of this diet and so I got bored and left. However, I fell into bad habits as always but the important thing is that I returned. Scardale diet is pretty, is not strenuous as others and that is why I return to it very quietly, without worries, because unfortunately a diet is always distressing.